The DARK Side of the Signs by Dar Alexander


BLACK Friday’s

The DARK Side of the Signs

**BLACK Friday Weekend Special: Uncover

YOUR DARK SIDE with DAR (details at bottom)**

An EVIL ARIES will:

 *Act arrogant but have zero confidence in himself
* Surrender to utter contempt for humanity
* Think paying the bills gives him an asshole-license

An EVIL TAURUS will:

* Eat her own daughter (bru-tal)
* Charm you into loving her, even if she hates your guts
* Do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING — YOU torture yourself over her rejection of you

An EVIL GEMINI will:

* Lick the horn of a unicorn (who comes up with this shizzazle?)
* Let you expose your own lies (ie. show you the TWO-FACED son-of-a-mongoose ya are)
* Silver-tongue you into submission to his deep dark desires… mwaahah

(actually, get you to coddle his emotions)

An EVIL CANCER will:

* Take one look at you and bolt
* Smother all sentiment for what she loves most
* Smile at your pain, if you’ve mistreated her in the slightest

An EVIL LEO will:

* Use his willpower to destroy
* Feed you to the wolves without a blink, if betrayed
* Have no remorse or regard for the consequences of his actions

An EVIL VIRGO will:

* Eat a banana bun on black beans (even I can’t crack that code)
* Tragically get rid of what she gave her all to… or make you wish you were de-ad rather than listen to another bash of criticism
* Renounce hope for a better life but not her banana bun, if it’s a nutrient-rich superfood

An EVIL LIBRA will:

* Beat you at your own game
* Totally infantilize you with his mature “reasons”
* Cut ya down to size… or just cut off your BALLS

An EVIL SCORPIO will:

* See people as unworthy puppets
* Become exactly what she intensely, utterly HATES MOST
* Hurt the one she loves then hurt herself 10X more for it

**LIMITED TIME ONLY**

DARK SIDE Readings with Dar (details at bottom)

An EVIL SAGITTARIUS (come on, you know they’re evil anyway) will:

* Cast harsh, unforgiving judgment on you, the world, and your dog
* Shove ya outta his way ’cause there’s hell to pay
* Think he’s worse off than a possum thrown in a gutter (and act just as sh-tty)

An EVIL CAPRICORN will:

* Do the crazeh dance (ie. act totally impractical)
* Cut people she usually cares about out
* Give you the light of day only if you’ll be her minion when the time comes

An EVIL AQUARIUS will:

* Boohoo the feelings of those closest to him
* Be all aboard until he knocks you off the train
* Need no napkins over the death of his doting grandma

An EVIL PISCES will:

* SHUT u the F- out
* Use what she knows about YOUR EMOTIONS against you
* KILL ya then wipe her hands clean

(It’s a sad soul that gets sucka’d by a Pisces)

TURN YOUR DARK SIDE

INTO LIGHT

Uncover where your POWER dwells.

Learn how to use your power to create and not destroy.

I journey into YOUR UNDERWORLD — the deep, dark world of the heart’s desires in a mission to understand and work with yours.

I give the “animal-self” the justice and attention it f-ing deserves.

Are you ready to ditch the sand castles and chew on the meat?

HERE TODAY, GONE IN A FLASH

15 MINUTE

Dark Side reading

FOR $50

starting NOW until Sunday, Nov 26!!!!!

Email dar@daemonentertainment.com to schedule —

subject “Black Friday reading”!

Click here to learn more about my reading style!